The Gang of Four Picks Apart Ridley Scott's Monopoly Movie

Vince:	Again...this is a joke, right??? I mean, COME ON!!!
Kurt:	Are they kidding? Ridley Scott can't possibly be connected to this film. No way. Not buying it.
Darrin:	I think we discussed this a couple of months ago and decided that we were more looking forward to "Oliver Stone's Candyland" and "David Lynch's Chutes and Ladders."
Dan:	I'm awestruck…. Speechless…. Maybe they can get Robin Williams as Mr. Moneybags….he has experience in these boardgame movies from Jumanji….
Darrin:	Imagine the drama: "With one hotel, you owe me $2000 for rent on Park Place or I'm sending you directly to jail." "You dog! How in the name of all that's holy can you expect me to pay that ... I'm just a SHOE! ... And my take home is only $200!"
Kurt:	Now that's some award-winning stuff there. Compelling.
Darrin:	Yeah, I studied under Puzzo, ya know. Seriously though, it's such a lame idea that I can't even come up with a good joke about an the iron's extended nude scene as DVD extra. And, I mean, we could get Jazz from the Transformer movie to play the race car, sure ... but who is gonna play the thimble?
Vince:	One of the guy's who posted on the site said Sam Jackson. "What ain't no language I ever heard of!! Do they speak "what" on Mediterranean Avenue??!!"
Kurt:	"You owe me $200 for rent!" "Gimme my wallet. It's the one that says 'Bad Muther Fcker' on it."
Dan:	“Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfcking hotels on this motherfcking board!”
Darrin:	I have two possibilities: "First, I'm gonna deliver this case to Uncle Moneybags. Then, basically, I'm gonna walk the board." "What do you mean, walk the board?" "You know, like the Drifters ... in that song" - or - "I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother a dog. I mean, he's got for legs and fur. But, what's the guy gonna do? He's a player token."
Kurt:	See? We have the film half-written already. This is cake.
Vince:	Wait, wait, wait.....we're doing this as Tarantino's "Monopoly". This is Ridley Scott's "Monopoly" "I only do railroads..."
Dan:	Car: Can they hear you? TopHat: Who? Car: Your family. Outside this jail. TopHat: Oh yes. Car: What do you say to them? TopHat: To my son - I tell him I will see him again soon, three turns max. To keep his heels down while riding his horse. To my wife... that is not your business.
Darrin:	So ... wait ... Ridley's got to be using the new "Speed Rules" version of the game. You can't play Monopoly in under 2 hours. Dammit! I wanted a movie based on the CLASSIC version of the board game.
Dan:	Or maybe he could break it up into a trilogy!
Darrin:	Oh, okay, yeah, 'cause that would be MUCH better. Think he do a director's cut as well where the horse is actually a unicorn (somehow implying that Uncle Moneybags was also a pewter player token) and without the cheesy, lackluster narration by the Shoe overdubbed through the whole thing?

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